money money money

as it relates to teaching meditation

i don’t know what sutta or section of the vinaya this is in, but my basic understanding of the buddha’s instruction on sharing the dharma was that it was never, never, never to be sold. generosity is one of the basic foundations of dharma practice. when the buddha arrived in a new town to teach the dharma, it is said the first talk he would always give would be on the nature of generosity, the joys of freely giving.

theravada monasteries operate on this basis to this day. any theravada monastery you want to go to, you can stay at for free, you can attend teachings of the monastics for free, you can eat meals for free, you can pick up beautiful dharma books that all are printed with the text “for free distribution” in the front matter.

the reason this is possible is because (especially in the east) there are strong cultures of giving freely to the monastery, by those who are able to give and who wish to support the monastics. when i’ve stayed for a short visit at a theravada place, i get a bunch of groceries and donate them upon my arrival.

now, i’m not the type of ~buddhist who thinks that because the buddha said something, that makes it true. but i nonetheless fear that if i so much as mildly think about or suggest that kind of maybe it would be sort of nice if i don’t know maybe someone consider giving me some money if they want to ANY money i mean like even 5 dollars or something would be plenty — that i have forever compromised my integrity, i have proved that i don’t really understand the dharma, and i am, of course, fundamentally bad and evil.

(i’ll note here that never charging for anything is not something all buddhist traditions adhere to, and there are a great many dharma teachers in the west who take a wide variety of approaches to the question, including teaching only by donation, having some sort of sliding scale, or just straight up having a flat rate per hour. but the point of this essay is to examine how i feel about this dilemma, not to hide behind the decisions of others.)

i’m trying to figure out how relate to money specifically for the upcoming class i am going to teach in april and may, and as i reflect upon the question, it turns out that the buddha’s prescription is just one of the factors to think about.

ok, what are all the opposing tensions to navigate here?

• buddha says generosity model only

• i wouldn’t want my motivation for doing a generosity model to be out of a fear of feeling bad, or out of a sense of obligation

• i want money. like. for my life and stuff

• wanting money makes me feel evil

• i don’t want a system that either incentivizes me to care more about the money or suggests that i care more about the money than the people and the goal of teaching. i don’t want potential students to feel resentful of having to spend money, or worry that they are being valued primarily for their money

• i don’t want to feel taken advantage of, i don’t want to feel like my energy and time isn’t being given how i want to give it, i don’t want to feel resentful

• i’m scared that full on “pay what you want” for this class will result in not very much money

• i don’t want a world where people with less money can’t get individualized meditation support — and, i don’t want my offering to feel like “charity,” in the sense of making me the savior, disconnecting me from who i’m working with, creating a power imbalance

• i don’t want any of this to feel like it needs to stay unspoken and underneath the surface. i don’t want the money part of an interaction to be all hush hush

• i want people to know that the course i’m making is worthwhile, it’s worthy of investment, it has value

• money is made up, the numbers are made up, there is no inherent correct number of dollars to assign to my class

my best attempt at a solution

here’s a system i thought of for the class, i’ll describe it and then let’s see how many of these tensions it addresses. for a bit of context, the class will be 8 weeks long, include a weekly 90-min group call, a weekly 1:1 45-min coaching call with each participant, some written and audio support materials, and text-based support in between sessions. to learn about my qualifications as a teacher, read the previous essay in this series.

i will share the following with potential participants on the application form:

if you want to practice meditation with me for 8 weeks, i want you to be in the class. this is more important to me than making money off of the class. at the same time, i ask for you to help support the course financially, in accordance with what is possible for you. supporting this course financially will help us both feel like the course is being valued and respected, and naturally it is also immensely helpful for my material wellbeing. with this in mind, here are three options i am offering:

option 1:

give $400. this is my best guess at what would be a competitive market rate.

option 2:

give anything between $200 and a zillion. this allows for a good deal of flexibility if $400 is financially or psychologically distressing, and also if you’re the kind of person who thinks “oh my god you should really be asking for more than $400 for an eight week class” then i definitely invite you to give more.

option 3:

give any amount between $0 and $199, and i ask that you also help me spread the word about this class. i’m not asking you to sell anyone on it, and i’m not requiring that you bring other people into the class, but the ask is to let anyone you know who you think might want to take the class know that it’s happening. maybe give it a twitter and/or facebook and/or instagram shoutout, too. if you have any other ideas to help me, i’m also open to those.

i would also invite anyone to reach out to me for a video call to talk about our feelings regarding money before the course begins. there are so many difficult feelings that can come up around money, and i would love to welcome and listen to those feelings together. it’s important to me that our relationship begins from a place of connection and mutual understanding.

what concerns have i addressed?

buddha says generosity model only — this is definitely not a pure generosity model. there are several entries in the jakata tales that describe the buddha, in a past life when incarnated as an animal, sacrificing his entire body out of generosity for others who needed food. i’m not quite there. my system is designed to tell people how much i’m comfortable asking for and to prompt them into giving what they can to meet my request. at the same time, it is still fully an option to sign up for $0 and do nothing other than show up. the way for me in which this doesn’t quite count as a true generosity model is that for the person who doesn’t give any money, i have still imposed upon them some idea of how much i would like to receive, and this may induce some psychological pressure (which i hope might be addressed in a pre-class video call). nevertheless, i feel satisfied on this concern ✅

i wouldn’t want my motivation for doing a generosity model to be out of a fear of feeling bad, or out of a sense of obligation — if i said nothing but “pay whatever you want,” i would feel unsafe, and concerned that i wouldn’t be supported (and that less people would take the class seriously). but my system helps me feel like i will be taken care of, and that makes it easier for me to relate to those who need to give less with joy for their presence, rather than obligation to serve them ✅

i want money. like. for my life and stuff — as long as a certain amount of folks sign up for the class, it should help me have money for my life and stuff ✅

wanting money makes me feel evil — i don’t think any system i design will address this haha - more of an issue for me to continue unpacking in my own personal psychological work :) ( ✅ )

i don’t want a system that either incentivizes me to care more about the money or suggests that i care more about the money than the people and the goal of teaching. i don’t want potential students to feel resentful of having to spend money, or worry that they are being valued primarily for their money — if the system was “everyone pay me 500 bucks” i would feel more pressure to get people in for the money. but interestingly, since every person that comes to the class could be giving a variable amount, the pressure is shifted off getting anyone in the door to valuing whoever is in the door ✅

i don’t want to feel taken advantage of, i don’t want to feel like my energy and time isn’t being given how i want to give it, i don’t want to feel resentful — there’s no way to be sure, but i feel optimistic that this system will bring in an amount of money that helps me avoid this type of energetic imbalance between me and the participants ✅

i’m scared that full on “pay what you want” for this class will result in not very much money — cool, we’re not doing that ✅

i don’t want a world where people with less money can’t get individualized meditation support — and, i don’t want my offering to feel like “charity,” in the sense of making me the savior, disconnecting me from who i’m working with, creating a power imbalance — this system allows anyone to take the class (as long as they have an internet connection and a safe place to practice). i wouldn’t want to ask people to somehow verify to me how much money they have, or how much psychological distress spending money gives them, and so that just leaves me with the option of trusting that people will sort themselves into the option that is most appropriate for them. so my job here is to trust that if someone gives $200 instead of $400, or if someone gives $0, that they are contributing what they can, which means the energetic exchange is still balanced. in addition, they are of course contributing their sincere efforts to learn this skill that i wish to teach, for the purpose of the reduction of suffering, which is our common goal. ✅

i don’t want any of this to feel like it needs to stay unspoken and underneath the surface. i don’t want the money part of an interaction to be all hush hush — idk if anyone will take me up on having a call before the course to talk about difficult money feelings, and i of course wouldn’t want to impose or require such a call on anyone, but i hope that having the door open in this regard will be helpful ✅

i want people to know that the course i’m making is worthwhile, it’s worthy of investment, it has value — this feels accomplished by my asking for $400 in option 1 ✅

money is made up, the numbers are made up, there is no inherent correct number of dollars to assign to my class — while this is true, i still had to find some way to feel good about the number to put on option 1. i thought about it in a number of different ways. if, i dunno, 10 people sign up, how much money am i likely to receive in total? (2000? 3000? 1500?) if someone paid $400, how much would that be per week? (50.) or how much might it be per class (20?) and 1:1 session (30?). how does that compare to getting, i don’t know, a class or private session at a yoga studio? (pretty good, i think!) and lastly - given my experience and the class i am designing, WHAT DOES CLAUDE THINK IS A FAIR PRICE?? (it thinks i’m being quite reasonable tyvm). so. ok. and, at the end of the day, options 2 and 3 are still right there for anyone to use, if $400 is too high. ✅

wrap up

ok i guess i did it! i wouldn’t say my body feels completely settled but it seems about as good as i’m gonna get! thanks for coming to my ted talk! and, um, donate to my patreon, i guess!

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my online course, “meditation fundamentals: practicing for a free heart” is now launched and accepting participants! it’s an 8-week long program beginning april 12th designed to help beginners establish a regular meditation practice that is of benefit to their lives, and will also be helpful for anyone who already has meditation experience and wants the support of instruction and community as well.

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the other essays in this series are on the questions “who the hell do i think i am to teach meditation,” “what is meditation good for and what is it not good for” and “what is my pedagogical philosophy around teaching meditation”